Sunday, April 18, 2010

Merriment

It's been a while and I still don't know if I plan on ever finishing this, but for those of you friends who still check facebook (I do not often), I would like to discuss another one of my quotes. It is one in the morning on the day before the last final of my freshman year and I don't want to find one that I have underlined or written elsewhere so I will again take one from those listed under my favorite quotes section here on facebook. Here it is:
"But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner--no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment." -C.S. Lewis

I have a hard time with merriment. It's much easier for me to just be frustrated or angry than it is for me to be happy and to remain in that state. Of course, what Lewis is talking about here is destroying that very concept of happiness, or at least of merriment (if it is any different), as a state of mind. This argument is first supported by the language that is used. If merriment "exists between people", it is not something that one can produce on his own. Enjoyment can come from many sources, and flirting is always a good way to make yourself feel good, but it does not come with an guarantees. Friendships that last begin the same way as those that don't; it is the way that they sustain themselves that differs. It is presumed that those who you meet at a social function of your choosing (i.e. party, sporting event, gym, class, movie, trip, etc.) enjoy the same sorts of things that you do. Many a good friendship has started in these settings. However, many who become friends through events or venues like these never see their relationships get past the superficial "How was it?" stage. Because the pair are so readily able to enjoy one another's love for the activity that they are doing, they are hesitant to venture beyond that at the risk of stepping on each other's toes.

The disability to take things seriously paralyzes a pair's ability to trust one another, and lack of trust means lack of friendship. Someone who is flippant is impossible to engage. It's a similar case with those who are too serious or dedicated to their own image. Superiority has no place in friendship (see James 2) as it creates a divide rather than a bridge between two friends. This is exceedingly important in relationships where superiority is rightfully due one member of the relationship. A good father is one who engages his son on a personal level, not simply as judge and standard bearer, but as rock and foundation. If our friends don't provide this strong footing, we will be disappointed when we expect their help and crushed when we ask for it and don't receive it. Presumption differs from expectation (which can be healthy) in a relationship in that it is naturally pre-discussion. Communication is responsible for most of the problems that we face in our world today. Presumption is a case where one is communicating only with themselves and the depths of their own mind. It is a dangerous form of expectation. In our most important relationships, we can only proceed safely in the midst of communicated expectations. Presumption will get us no where together.

Finally, we must be a genuinely charitable and compassionate people. To do this, we must understand how these things work. Charity and compassion don't utilize words like allow, pardon, and forgive; they use understand, aid, support, and, consider. They are not given, they are shown. In order to be charitable people, we must invest in people no matter the cost. Yes, there are plenty of causes, efforts, and movements we can be a part of. Who wouldn't want to? However, we must also as individuals take up the less attractive cases. Those who we could never help. Those who are getting what they deserve. Those who are ungrateful. Those who we overlook everyday because they aren't homeless, hungry, or deprived. Poverty doesn't only take on one form. There is much we can do and much we must do, but the first step is to know.
"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then [we will see] face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known." -I Corinthians 13:12 (NASB)"

Know the need that surrounds you, become familiar with it. Be observant. Then take your heart, which will be broken, and ask Him to do with it what He will. He may not make you soar on wings like eagles, but He will use you. You will experience love like you have never known it before.

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